Story originally printed in the Holmen Courier or online at www.holmencourier.com
Published - Monday, May 19, 2008
FAMILY MATTERS: Family key in beating depression
In any given year, one in 10 American adults will suffer with depression, and estimates suggest that 30 percent of all people suffer from depression at some point in their lives. Such prevalence suggests that you, or others you know, are suffering.
Depressed people often describe the condition as stepping into a deep, dark hole and seeing no escape. Because they have a skewed view of reality, they need their friends and families to help them see their way out of those holes.
Depression can be caused by a number of unresolved issues — death of a loved one, economic or work stress, illness or injury, divorce, childbirth or other life changes. When depression hits, victims often feel sad and hopeless and lose interest in activities they once enjoyed. They might also cry frequently, experience sleep disturbances, lose or gain weight, concentrate poorly or become irritable.
Sometimes the depression will lift as people adjust to their new circumstances. Oftentimes, however, it continues. When depression lasts longer than two or three weeks, it’s time to get help.
Perhaps out of ignorance or stigma, people hesitate to seek treatment and continue suffering needlessly. Depressed people frequently think they just need to pull themselves together, that they can and will do it on their own. But snapping out of depression is no more realistic than snapping out of cancer or diabetes. The reality is depression is a serious illness that requires professional attention.
If someone you care about is suffering from depression, choose a time when you can be close to him or her. Express your love and your concern and explain that you think there is help. Offer to make an appointment with a physician or trusted therapist and even go along if helpful. If they resist, be patient and look for another opportunity to broach the topic, being careful not to push too hard
You can also engage the depressed person in conversation, listening without judgment while also pointing out realities and offering hope. Because people suffering from depression tend to withdraw, you can help further by engaging them in activities such as walking, social functions and other outings. The key to helping people with depression is being available and present — and reminding them you are.
Being there for them, however, does not mean covering for them. If your loved ones are unable to function in a daily routine and you make excuses for them with others, that’s enabling the depression and making it easier and more likely they will remain depressed.
When loved ones begin talking about not being around much longer, giving away possessions or cheering suddenly after depression, they might be considering suicide.
If you see these warning signs, encourage them to call a doctor, therapist or suicide hotline immediately, or take them to the emergency room if they are willing to go. If they are making an active threat and refuse help, call the police. The police will take them to the hospital for immediate treatment.
Above all, don’t lose yourself in another’s depression. Continue to care for yourself, keeping other friendships and activities alive. If you hope to be of any help to others, you have to be emotionally and mentally healthy yourself.
Wanda Schafer is a therapist at the Family & Children’s Center in La Crosse.
All stories copyright 2006 Holmen Courier and other attributed sources.